Waging the War
by RedneckGeek
Summary: Ron deals with his emotions as Bonnie goes through chemo. Please Read and Reveiw Thank you


Disclaimer: All I own is the laptop I'm typing on and a 93 chevy pick up. Anything KP is owned by Disney. All music mentioned is owned by someone else.

A/N this is AU off of the reat my fics that I will be positing shortly. However I recieved an email concernig Men Against Breast Cancer (MABC) and just had to write this piece as my wife is a survivor. Therefore I dedicate this to those men who stand by their loved ones in the fight of their lives.

As soon as we got home after Bonnie's latest round of treatments, I spent some time getting her comfortable so she could start resting. As much as I needed a chance to vent and decompress myself, I can't do it around her. Bonnie needs me to be strong, I can only bend, not break around her. A small smile and a little laugh was my reward before she fell asleep so the poison, the doctors pumping in to her body can kill the cancer. Who knew that Ronshine was such a potent weapon in the fight to keep her body from killing her? Yet another reason to keep all the worry, emotional pain and anger to myself, if Bonnie is concerned about me, she can't get the rest she needs.

I called my folks to check on the kids, and to see how they were doing. On the days of chemo we try to get their minds off of the hell their mom is going through. I found out Katie, Kathy and their Aunt Hannah took them all to get ice cream and play some put-put golf. Letting my rents know that how Bonnie and I were doing, I checked in on Bonnie to see her dozing in our bed. Finally, I can go let off steam. I changed into a pair of dark grey denim cargoes and matching sleeveless t-shirt, and headed downstairs to the gym.

_Thank God, Wade convinced me to soundproof the room._ I picked up the remote for the stereo system, hit a specific selection on the menu and cranked the volume WAY up. It was my angry music selection and it would randomly spin through various selections of _Disturbed, Limp Biscuit, Godsmack, Five Fingered Death Punch, _and _Drowning Pool_. I took a stance in front of a couple of the work out dummies as the first strains of _Step Up_ began to blast from the speakers. And then I let go, fists, backhands, open palms, kicks and elbows all hammered the dummies with a force that has brought down trees in the past, all the while screaming out my frustrations at the top of my lungs. Every move I know about Tai Sheng Pek Kwar, _and I do know them all,_ was being used. The only thing I wasn't doing was throws, and I really didn't want to rip the bolts out of the floor. I can and have thrown objects of incredible weight over astounding distances especially if I'm mad. Although to be truthful mad doesn't quite cover what I'm feeling right now.

"For a guy who thinks hand to hand is stupid, you sure are practicing quite hard."

"Really not in the mood Sarah" I growled as I noticed the music, while still loud was turned down enough to have a conversation. "Turn the volume back up" and slammed a fist straight through the most heavily padded section of my target and out it's backside. _Fuck now I got to buy a new dummy._ It didn't stop me as I turned to a new bag and proceeded to assault it with increased force.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No" I turned toward the former villainess known as Shego. Ever since that incident at Graduation where she and Drakken helped KP and me save the world she's been a part of Team Possible. She wasn't here in her usual black and green jumpsuit, but was wearing workout sweats in, yep you guessed it, black and green. "What do you want?"

"Well I stopped by to see how Cheerleader was doing, but she's asleep and so I came down here to see how you were doing. So if you don't want talk about it, do you want to spar? Really work off some of that anger? Dummies don't hit back, I do." I thought about for a minute, thinking it that was really 

bad idea. I might hurt her if I lost control, and I don't like hurting friends. "C'mon who else are you going to spar with? I'm the only one who is tough enough to handle what you can dish out."

_Well, she's got a point, unless you want to call Felix and tell him to suit up._ "Bring it_."_

"Don't you want pads?" I just shake my head no. "Well don't hold back on my account." And launches herself at me. I lose track of time as we trade blows back and forth. And we don't hold back either. It feels good to let out the anger on a target who gives as good or better as she gets. I don't know how long we keep going until something happens with the music. I'm not sure if Wade hacked the system or Sarah did some reprogramming before she announced herself, but the song that starts is definitely not on my list of angry music. The voices of Shaun Morgan and Amy Lee singing _Broken_ come over the speakers and I pause just for a moment.

Sarah leaps into the air and tries to get me with both feet. It's one of those moves that if it hits is going to hurt, but it's easily avoided by a dodge or turned into a throw. However I don't do either and actually step into her path through the air, making sure Sarah can't miss me. A look of surprise and understanding flash in her eyes and she tries to pull the blow, but when you have nothing to provide traction, you can't slow your momentum. I don't even try a roll with it, hearing that song brought all the dark thoughts of what Bonnie is dealing with out of those closed doors in my mind where I had shoved them. I have to FEEL the pain and discomfort, if I can't take Bonnie's away from her.

"Ok Ron just what the hell was that about? I could have seriously injured you with a stunt like that?" Sarah sounded pissed as she stood up, yet she made no move to attack me again. "Enough of this shit you are going to talk about what is bothering you now!"

I just look at her a second and then I break. No I don't break, I shatter. I'm down on my knees sobbing and I can't form a coherent thought for the life of me. All the guilt I feel for having the unhealthy lifestyle, not to mention being zapped by who knows how many different rays and Bonnie is the one dealing with her own body trying to kill her, comes crashing over me. Sarah looks stunned for a moment, she's not into the touchy feely crap as she puts it and probably doesn't know what to do. And that's a major part of the problem, I've got nobody to talk to, to help deal with these thoughts of losing Bonnie. None of my families or friends have ever been in this stitch, where their significant other is battling their own body. Of course, my sister in-laws are oh so fucking helpful, effectively saying it no less than Bonnie deserves for marrying a loser like me.

" Why damnit why? What did she do to deserve this? Bonnie is constantly in pain and there is nothing, not a single thing, I can do to take it away. And you want to know what the worst part is? I feel like shit because I'm so scared I'm going lose her. I don't know if I can go on if that happens. I'm concerned about what's going to happen to me when I should be thinking only about her."

Sarah lets out a low whistle "Ron you need to talk to someone. Like when the Princess died."

_Oh swell, Sarah bring up my other greatest failure in life._ "Yeah but who? Bonnie was the one who helped get through that crap. Who can I talk to?"

" Well, in all that research you and Wade did, it ever occur to you to find anything from the husband's aspect of it?" I'm pretty sure the look on my face answered that question. "Jesus Christ on a crutch you really are a buffoon aren't you?"

"I never really thought about it that way. I felt it was more important to know what Bonnie was going to be dealing with than my problems."

"Look Ron you two have been married for 15 years and have been raising six wonderful kids for almost 17. After all the shit that has happened, you didn't think that this was going to affect you too? I know you feel that you gotta take on all the problems and issues so no one else has too, but you have to be able to ease the burden. How do you think Bonnie is going to handle it if you end up in the nice comfy jacket in the nice padded room?"

"So what do I do?"

"First of all, you're going to get cleaned up. You look like crap. Then you're going to make your wife some of that soup she likes so much and maybe give her a little of, what do you call it Ronshine? Then you're going to find a support group for husbands or significant others, and get some help."

I like to say that this was a BooYah moment. But that didn't come until five years later when Bonnie was declared NED (No Evidence of Disease).


End file.
